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Normal Days

April 7, 2010

There are some days that run so smoothly. They are productive. You have lots of energy and your attitude is great!  I love those days, they make me feel like I am on the “right path”.  I wish life were made up of only “one of those days”. I really wish I could always say the right things to my children, discipline them appropriately, give them nothing but food that fuels them, provide them with all the opportunities to be active, keep a super organized and clean home, well….you get my drift.  I experience those days often.  Not an a Pollyanna type way, but a way that I feel as if I’ve actually got this moving in the right direction.  That feeling has not been so much with me the last 5 days. 

Yikes, let me elaborate.  The past few days (and I mean 5) have been filled with racing heart, fatigue, ( I mean the kind that has whipped you where you’ve got nothing left), achy/achy muscles, and an overall sense of fear.  This has been a humbling experience to say the least.  I had no idea what was going on nor how to treat it nor how long it would last.  My self diagnosis was anxiety and my self-treatment was to take it easy.  Take out all expectations for the days and force more hours of mindless down time in my days.  I was going to give it to Friday and then make a dr. appointment who would hopefully be able to really diagnose and treat this horrible inconvenience to me.

Fast forward 2 days of feeling consecutively better and today where I feel “normal”, thankfully.  You know how you hear the expression that the difficult days make you so much more thankful for the great ones (or something to that effect).  That is how I am feeling as I sit here and write.  I don’t know if these fears will come back and in what form, but I do know that God gave me that experience for a specific reason.  I am so grateful for these lessons and that today, I am “normal”.

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